10 Rules for Raising a Successful Black Family

successful black family

Every family is different. There’s no denying that we all have different methods, modalities, and madness when it comes to raising our ideas of a thriving black family.

Even though we’re all different, there are still some important tools, mindsets, and daily practices that every black family needs to prosper in the world – generation after generation.

So often we hear people say “there are no rules o this”. That, my dear, is a lie. *Throws Maury envelope*

Life is math. What you put in, comes out – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, & physically. Sometimes we don’t see how the problem works out, but it works out. 

In many ways, when we start to believe that there are no rules, that life is one big hodgepodge of happenstance, we get lazy. We lay down our ability to respond to life in a way that gets the results we want. We start reacting to life as it happens rather than creating a plan for guiding our family in the way they should go.

Ever felt overwhelmed in parenthood because the day just takes over you? Has handling a hectic household started to wear at your corners?

When it comes to raising a successful black family, these 10 rules will help you lay the foundation for generational blessings, healing, and prosperity.

10 Rules for Raising a Successful Black Family

1.) Start with Discipline – the method of discipline won’t look the same for every person, but the outcome should. From yourself, to your children the purpose of discipline is to build your commitment muscles.

You want your children to be able to commit to doing the right thing – in and out of your sight. In the same way, you want to have the drive to get your daily work done with dignity and finesse. Discipline supplies the strength and willpower to commit to accomplishing your goals as an individual and as a family.

Which brings me to number 2

2.) Have Family Goals – we all know that creating goals is a major key to success, but many people don’t create goals for the foundation of true success – their family.

What are your goals for your family? Have you sat down and discussed, or thought out, what you’d like your family to grow into? This is an especially good exercise for single people who want to manifest a positive family.

3.) Make a Mission Statement – one of the first things we did when we decided to get married was create a mission together. It has helped us so much when times got hard, when we wanted to quit, and when our backs were against the wall. 

A mission statement keeps everyone on track when things get cloudy and you can’t see the forest for the trees. Raising a black family is complex enough as it is. Going at it without a roadmap is like driving at night with no GPS. 

4.) Create Space for Communication – There’s nothing so lonely as living in a house with people you can’t talk to. Even children feel the sting of that pain. No matter what path you choose to follow in your home, have open, honest space where everyone can feel OK expressing what matters to them.

In our home, only one Law stands, the biblical one. That’s becoming the case in many homes, but less so in the world. With our children being exposed to so many different temptations and deviations from scripture in everyday life, it’s important that we hold space for honest questions, concerns, and suggestions. 

You won’t agree with everything but trust me, it’s better to answer those uncomfortable questions and give an experienced perspective than to be shamed when a child goes and finds out the answers for themselves.

5.) Practice Compassion – Remember when you prayed for the man, children, family that you have now? When things are shaky it can be hard to remember that you’re all in this thing together, but you are. 

Take time to see situations from all sides and aim to understand rather than criticize. (see: Pro. 4:7)

6.) Practice Positivity – There’s more than enough negativity to go around. Our homes can no longer be war zones (not emotionally either).

Say uplifting affirmations for and with your family. Come together and speak life over your home, your businesses, your finances. Teach your children to do the same. What we speak about, we bring about. And we know that when we gather together in righteousness, God joins us in the midst. 

7.) Establish an Order – an orderly household is obvious. I’m still getting there, one day at a time; but having all things in order is definitely #goals. Having an order to how you run your home translates far outside of your house and into everyday life as your loved ones interact in the world. 

And trust me, there’s nothing more beautiful than an ordered family in this crazy world.

8.) Heal with your Hands – We use our hands for so much. To eat, create, touch. Our hands have a powerful healing quality that we usually forget.

Pay attention to how you feed your family especially if you live in a so-called “food desert”. Buy the best that you can and cook it with gratitude. Learn new ways of healing your family with healing botanicals and touch.

Learn to tend the soil. We’re planting these 9 crops this year which will provide food for our bellies and more money in the bank.

9.) Learn to Do For Self – Self-reliance and interdependence are the matching shoes on the walk to becoming a successful black family. Take time to learn new skills often. 

Building sustainable businesses, creating the things you want and need, and networking with other families is critical to being a successful black family.

10.) INVEST in your family – In everything, if you invest, you’ll  get returns. Same thing for if you never invest.

Pour your time, your money, your skills, resources, and yourself into having the kind of family that you want. We tend to “give our all” to things that don’t matter and give just enough to get by to the most important things in our lives. 

Raising a beautiful black family is a beacon of light and hope in this day and age. So many people need to see that black royalty is still a possibility. 

Success, order, and love can all be achieved with focus, dedication, and consistency. 

You are royal! Live up to your crown!

What are your rules for raising a successful black family?


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