5 Reasons Why You Should Thank Your Ex

Black Love and Relationships

Black love and relationships are such a slippery subject nowadays. If you choose to inject yourself in the conversation (I do it all the time) – you might as well expect some hurt soul to come for your edges.

I try to always remember what it felt like to be fresh out of a relationship that I thought would last forever – only to realize that joker was just that – a joke.

What I’m far more aware of these days, and guard my edges when I speak on, is how much value there is in a breakup and how much power we have over the trajectory of our relationships.

Now make no mistake, you don’t have any power over something that was unequally yoked to begin with. The only power you have there is to unhitch yourself and keep it moving. And you should be thankful if you caught on quick enough to let go from the beginning.

But what if you held on for years?

Well, there are a good number of reasons you should be thankful too!

[bctt tweet=” “You don’t have power over something that’s unequally yoked to begin with. Your power is letting it go.”” username=”theNspiyahdLife”]


First things first, you now know how freeing it is to let go of dead things. Working in the garden has taught me many things. One of the greatest is that even though it hurts to cut away my prettiest flowers, it’s the only way the rest of the flowers will grow.

All the time you spend holding on, you’re actually forfeiting the blessings that you should be reaching for.

That brings me to the next point. Whether you left or they did you created space in your life.

When we have the wrong things taking up space we say things like “I’m going to wait until something better comes along.” What actually ends up happening is your “better” comes and you don’t have room for it.

Black Love and Relationships


Did your intuition tell you from the beginning that he just wasn’t the one? Probably so. One of the most valuable lessons that exes teach is for you to trust your discernment – the first time.

Many times your intuition is more subtle than the roar of loneliness, the need for companionship, or the tingling heat in your panties… yea, I said it. Going through the fire teaches you to trust that inner knowing every time it tells you that you’re about to get burned.

[bctt tweet=”Your Intuition is more subtle than loneliness, or the tingle in your panties. But it’ll save your heart from breaking.” username=”theNspiyahdLife”] Black Love and Relationships

If you’ve ever felt unworthy in a relationship, you probably know how great it feels to look back and realize your true value. You take an inventory of all that you gave, how you showed up, and how much you cared and if you’re wise – you start to redirect that diligence to yourself and elevate your walk with God.

Exiting a toxic relationship can remind you of how valuable you are.  Give thanks for that.

Thank your ex for showing you what you don’t want.

Many times we go into relationships with a laundry list of our wants, but we’re not so aware of the character issues, moral inconsistencies, and emotional unbalances that we don’t want.

Somethings you have to witness first hand to know that you absolutely don’t want to deal with it.

I never thought I’d be grateful for my ex, but I really am. One of the things I’m most thankful for was that he showed me how I was treating myself. That’s right. Your ex gives you a mirror of your self-worth. I thought that pampering myself was proving that I loved myself – until I had to ask myself “well, why are you putting up with xyz?” That’s what helped me realize that self-maintenance is not the same as self-love; and my past love life was a glaring example of where I was in my self-love life.

The journey through my own self-love battles inspired me to create the Self Love Series for other women. I didn’t want any other woman to have to go through that process alone.

Looking back, I’m so grateful for all the lessons I learned growing through what I thought was love. I learned that the truest love starts inside and radiates to those you invite into your life. Black Love and Relationships

[bctt tweet=” The truest love starts inside and radiates to those you invite into your life.” username=”TheNspiyahdLife”].

Gratitude makes room for you to create more of what you desire in your life. SO before you drag your ex through the mud, ask yourself….

What has your ex taught you that you’re thankful for?

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